(this was originally a comment on a thread on a Facebook post, where someone said they felt that speaking out–especially to folks who have opposing views to us, right now, is, while admirable, \”hopeless\”. This was a good person-and a person of all of the privilege you can have in our society.)
I\’m a clinical social worker, and therapist. I have been since 1991. I have worked in hospitals, with families referred by Child Protective Services, in emergency rooms, in a homeless clinic. I\’ve done HIV prevention programming, and currently run a program that pretty much falls under \”defunding the police\”–I do program development, training, and community collaboration with a large urban police department. I teach them crisis intervention/de-escalation/trauma/self-care, and the like.
And I\’ve been super fortunate to have been witness to clients getting better, getting their needs met (such as housing), gotten feedback and proof from cops that they used what they learned in my trainings and it worked. That is the most gratifying part of my job.
(and I might add: until 45 was elected, I considered my work to be my activism. Because I did it full time, for minimum wage (basically!) for almost 30 years. If I retired right now, I\’d feel good about the contribution I\’ve made to society. seriously-lots of sweat equity, done my duty.)
But that is only a small part of the story. For most of what I do-whether it be counseling or case management or advocacy or training–I never see the fruits of my labor. Not only because they don\’t happen before my eyes, but because what I am doing is typically some small cog in a very big wheel of change. A wheel of change, that–make no bones about it–cannot function without every single little cog. Do I know that everyone I watched get better stayed better? (statistically, they don\’t-mental illness is a chronic illness that relapses, like any other chronic illness.) Do I know that all of the thousands of kids I tried to teach how not to get HIV will never get HIV in their lives? nope. Do I see every officer I teach become an expert in crisis intervention in the 5 days I get with them? I sure don\’t.
But in some of those cases, I get a glimmer. I get bits and pieces. One person shares a victory with me that they attribute to our work together. One cop comes back and tells me \”I did what you taught me and I helped someone. It worked.\”
And if I\’m lucky, later, I get more.
But mostly, I don\’t get any.
It would stand to reason that after nearly 3 decades of doing this basically thankless work, without seeing a lot of direct results, I\’d get burnt out. A lot of people do. I have, a few times. But never permanently. You know why?
Because I believe in what I do.
Without needing to see results. By just trusting they are happening.
Because I don\’t know what can happen if I do it….but I know what I am NOT contributing to if I don\’t.
I have become a blind optimist.
And I have no rational reason to be-in fact, I have all the evidence NOT to be. I believe that hope is a choice. I also firmly believe (and experience) that being a part of something bigger than ourselves is the antidote to feeling lost, and alone, and helpless.
In anti-racism work, they call this being a \”good ancestor\”. It means, we may never see the goals we are working towards in our lifetime, but what if people only worked to see their own goals achieved, and didn\’t do it for any other reason?
We might still be back in the stone ages. I know for sure that I wouldn\’t be thriving as a middle-aged single woman, in a career that fulfills me. I wouldn\’t have the right to vote, and as a Jewish person I\’d not be able to buy a home in a certain area, or go to the same pool as non-Jews. (this was before the Civil Rights movement-not even 60 years ago.) I would not have been able to go to college, let alone grad school, if not for the women\’s rights *ancestors* that fought for the civil rights I now take for granted.
Hell, if it was before 1974, I could not have gotten a credit card-because until then, a woman needed her HUSBAND (not any just man, her spouse) to co-sign a credit card account. Single women couldn\’t get them.
Activism and civic engagement are long-haul processes. They are lifestyles, not events. I\’m not looking to change any one particular racist, indoctrinated, toxic dude\’s mind.
I\’m looking to change the SYSTEM.
the White, \”Christian\”, cisgender, heteronormative patriarchy.
And since it\’s not a concrete thing that I can burn down, I take it down one of these assholes at a time, by speaking truth to power, truth to bullshit, and not letting their white supremacist, misogynistic, xenophobic, fear-filled drivel dominate the narrative of this country.
Do I single-handedly change the narrative?
Nope. No one does. We do it collectively.
(referring to part of the other person\’s comment):
\”As admirable as what you\’re trying to do is, it appears hopeless.\”
I\’m sorry you feel hopeless. That sucks. The antidote to that is ACTION. I can tell you that with 100% certainty. I can also tell you that to give into hopelessness, as someone not marginalized and therefore not a target, is a luxury and a privilege. It means you can not act, and still have your basic needs met. Not fear for your life (although if you read up on fascism, I think you might change your mind on that one).
And I don\’t think what I am trying to do is admirable.
I think that term makes it seem like this is a special task, something for certain people to do, designated folks, rather than all of our collective responsibility.
I hope anything I\’ve said in this epic novel of a comment has reached you, maybe even resonated.
Because we need all the cogs in the wheel–and because it doesn\’t have to feel hopeless.
[image: silhouettes of people at a protest, some holding up signs, in red, yellow and orange, layered over each other]