This week I posted on my Facebook page three metaphors to try to explain to people what it can be like to be Highly Sensitive, an Empath, and/or live with a trauma history.
here is the post.
First of all:
This is a sharing of my own experience and what works for me. It may not all
work for you.
And this is not intended to be a substitute for any kind of medical treatment;
I’m a therapist, but this is NOT therapy.
In my experience therapy can be a very safe and effective tool for
healing. I encourage you to find all the support you can for your High Sensitivity,
Empath-ness, trauma, or any combination of the three.
I’ve also found great healing in: acupuncture, reiki, sound healing,
journaling, workshops, retreats, medication, supportive relationships. There are many ways to heal, many ways to
feel supported.
We all deserve to have them.
*****
now.
how you are feeling is NORMAL.
For us.
Not for the mainstream. Not for your non-Highly Sensitive folks, your non-Empaths (which does NOT mean “not empathic”), your folks who grew up without trauma-at least not trauma that was debilitating, that didn’t get processed the way it needed to be, that got stuck, that hid in nooks and crannies.
But for YOU, for US, it’s normal to feel:
easily tired (often for reasons unknown to our conscious mind)
easily overwhelmed
easily agitated
easily anxious
emotional when others don’t see anything to get emotional about
somatically ill (headaches, chronic pain, GI issues, etc)
So
Here is my first pearl of wisdom:
Work on ACCEPTING that this who you are, AND
that There. Is. Nothing. Wrong. With. You.
Now, that is a simple thing. But it’s not easy.
(see above recommendation for therapy and other healing modalities)
So here is my second pearl of wisdom:
Cultivate a practice of gentleness and grace.
Yes, you can.
This is something that can be done at any time.
Beating the shit out of yourself?
When you notice it, apply compassion. And grace.
“Geez, I am beating the SHIT out of myself.”
Expecting from yourself what “normal” people do?
When you notice that you are pushing yourself
when the stories come up like: “I must be weak. Why can’t I do what my
partner/friend/kid/sibling/neighbor/co-worker can do?”
when you notice the stories, take a nice deep breath and say something like:
“I don’t have to do what other people do.”
Yeah, it might be hard. Especially at first. And it’s SO EASY to slide right
down the rabbit hole of those stories, and they get like a fun house mirror,
right? Everywhere you turn, there they are.
I am here to tell you that you CAN change that automatic response. That you CAN
heal those stories—stories that saved you at one time. It takes a lot of work,
and a commitment to cultivating awareness and compassion. It helps to allow yourself to be vulnerable
with people you can trust—and yes, I do know how difficult that can be.
Here are some practical tips that I’ve picked up and figured out over the years,
that work for me.
Take what works for you, and (as my acupuncturist always said) let the rest go.
It will take some experimenting. Allow
yourself that, too.
And if something doesn’t work for you? That isn’t a failed experiment. It’s a
SUCCESSFUL one-because you got your theory tested, and you got your data.
Note: there is no one-size-fits-all here. What I find useful you may find
stressful, and vice versa. There is no right or wrong. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, great. Listen
to yourself. Move toward restoration.
Move towards what feels nourishing. Allow in what brings peace and centering.
Another note: our nervous systems are so delicate, and sometimes so
jerry-rigged, that it can be tricky. There are some practices that actually
increase my anxiety. There are some that immediately reduce it. There are some
that, over time, have gotten more effective for me. Listen to your body.
Listen to your gut.
Listen to your heart.
Okay, here they are.
{None of the links here are endorsements}
1. Yoga
there are many kinds of yoga practice. ANYONE can do it.
here is a good beginner practice. This teacher is very popular, and I recommend her:
easy yoga practice
2. Meditation
there are many kinds of meditation-also a practice anyone can do.
here is a gentle mindfulness practice for beginners:
3. Yoga Nidra
This is a yoga practice that is a deeply relaxing, guided body scan. It bring the brain and body to a healing, restorative place.
this is from a website that has many free streaming practices:
streaming yoga nidra
4. Walking: movement is so healing. There is brain science to why walking helps reduce the trauma response; physical activity discharges the fight-flight-freeze chemicals from the body that the brain releases.
For me, walking feels like getting un-stuck. Moving forward, with no particular destination. I like to listen to music, an audiobook, a podcast, or sometimes just whatever ambient sound is around me. It’s also great to walk with someone.
5. Being in nature: this is a balm for me. All of my senses take it in: the earthy scent, the feeling of being connected to the earth, the sounds of animals and wind through trees.
note: because of my CPTSD, I need certain conditions to feel safe. I rarely go out into nature alone, unless it’s a familiar place and I know that I can feel safe there, and that there will be other people there.
6. Alternate-nostril breathing
this is a yoga practice that is designed to calm the nervous system.
Here is a YouTube instructional video.
7. Tapping (known as Emotional Freedom Technique)
This is a valuable presence practice, that can help soothe the nervous system when emotions are high.
here is an introductory video
8 Go into water. Salt water, if possible (for me, that’s most often a bath with Epsom salts)
but any water helps clear stuck energy. River, lake, ocean, pool.
9. Vocalize
Sing. Yell. Just make sounds. This may sound strange, but I find it very helpful to just make sounds—especially when I’m carrying extra energy. Also, living with CPTSD almost my whole life, I have been “quiet” to try not to trip the alarm sensors.
10. Shake: this can help to move and release stuck energy. This is another practice I found strange and awkward when I started, but it’s so effective I keep doing it. Sometimes I just shake out my hands, sometimes my legs, sometimes my whole body.
Sometimes I combine the shaking and the vocalizing.
High Sensitivity, being an Empath, having trauma that lives in your body-any or all of those can be very challenging.
AND
Healing is possible.
Healing is accessible.
Healing is within you.
Its not always easy.
But it’s always there.
[image: a sunset over the ocean]